What a 2-day silence revealed to me
- Bharat Barve
- 1 minute ago
- 5 min read
The journey of my emotions from noise to stillness.
I recently completed an Advanced Meditation Program at the Triveni Ashram near Pune. It was a 3-day residential program, and I had never done anything like this before.
I had wanted to attend this program for a few years. When I tried to register for the March dates, I ended up enrolling in an earlier batch - I had my calling and the universe helped me!
With many expectations from the program and from myself, I arrived at the ashram.
The ashram oozes with positive energy, and a feeling of calm settles in as soon as you enter.
The program included yoga, breathing practices like Sudarshan Kriya, guided meditations, and a two day period of silence (mauna) to conclude the experience.
Pre-silence
I had experienced the benefits of Sudarshan Kriya earlier and had felt an immediate shift within myself. Because of that, I expected quick changes from this program as well.
Meditation is the journey from sound to silence, from movement to stillness. From a limited identity to unlimited space - Sri Sri Ravi Shankar
Meditation is an inward journey, and like any such journey, patience matters.
We began with yoga, Sudarshan Kriya, and a few meditations, but I did not notice any change at first. This made me feel restless inside.
During one meditation, I chose to let go of expectations. I accepted that this was a completely new experience and that I needed to enter it fully, without goals or benchmarks.
I trusted that what was meant for me would arrive when I was ready. That is exactly what happened when I entered the two day silence.
Each phase of the silence felt like a gentle transition, bringing more ease and comfort as I moved through it.
Stage 1: The discomfort
Timeframe: First few hours
The moment we entered silence, I felt a strong urge to speak. It felt like a child being told not to do something and wanting to do it even more. Almost as if I was being tested, I witnessed one of the most beautiful sunsets of my life within the first hour of silence.
Soon after, a feeling of loneliness set in. I felt uncomfortable with my own thoughts, like a lost soul wandering aimlessly through the ashram. It felt as though multiple versions of me were talking to each other, creating chaos in my mind.
There was too much noise inside my head, with no way to let it out. Conversations from earlier that day started replaying, followed by memories and conversations from the past slowly moving to the center of my awareness.
Stage 2: Emotional release and vulnerability
Timeframe: Day 1 morning + afternoon
An entire evening and night of silence had passed. This phase felt more familiar. I found myself scrolling through nostalgia, with memories of random people and past incidents flooding my mind.
I began to miss my family. Tears rolled down my cheeks when I saw my daughters picture on my phone, taken just the day before. I had not even been away from her for twenty four hours.
Then a sense of grief surfaced. I missed my parents. Almost immediately, happy memories with them appeared. I saw myself as a carefree child, always taken care of, no matter what the situation was. But now I felt alone - loved, taken care of, but somehow alone.
Stage 3: Emotional neutrality
Timeframe: Day 1 evening
The chatter had reduced, or maybe it was still present and I was simply more at ease with it.
I felt more in tune with myself and my thoughts. I was at peace with my life as it was until that moment. I was also at peace with how I have been changing, both physically and spiritually.
I noticed that I could step back from my thoughts instead of being pulled into them.
There was a clear moment of realization when I understood that I could detach myself from situations and from the thought itself.
Stage 4: Quiet clarity and alertness
Timeframe: Day 2 morning + afternoon
I did not even realize that I had reached a state of gentle calm. It felt like a quiet river, where the water flowed smoothly. There were only a few occasional ripples, and even those felt untroubling.
It was time to break the silence. We did a short meditation and then began speaking again. The earlier urge to talk was gone. I knew I could speak now, but there was no hurry. It felt right to speak only when necessary.
I noticed that I was much quieter.
I spoke only when needed, using only essential words. There was no pretending, no drama, and no judgment toward myself or others.
I had read about the Advanced Meditation Program before, about the experiences of other participants and about mauna, the practice of silence. I still had doubts about whether I would be able to stay completely silent, mostly because I was afraid of my own thoughts. I think I had grown comfortable with them only because the noise and chaos around me kept me distracted.
Two days without social media, without my usual music, and without speaking helped settle a lot of the noise within me.
Silence forced me to face my fears directly and deal with them on my own. These were simple thoughts at the start, but over time they had grown into untamed monsters.
My patience and inner peace were tested the moment I started driving back home from the ashram. To my surprise, I felt more acceptance toward the people driving carelessly, honking throughout, but my mind remained steady and unaffected. It felt like I had passed the first practical test of what I had learned over the last three days.
Parting thoughts
There is too much noise around us and within us. There is the noise of the world, and then there is the constant mental chatter fed through our phones and social media.
Silence helped me feel more comfortable with myself. That may be why life feels lighter now, even though most things remain the same. The same city, the same traffic, the same job, the same people, and the same everyday drama. What has changed is my ability to manage my emotions, and with that, my approach to life.
This may be the beginning of an inward journey. A journey to understand myself better and to find my purpose, so I can contribute to making the world a more beautiful place.
Note: While much of the experience highlights the benefits of silence, the emotions I felt came from the combination of yoga, Sudarshan Kriya, guided meditations, and the knowledge sharing sessions from the program.
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